Google is probably the closest thing to a genuine crystal ball humanity has ever known. This week, I had an infection develop in my finger. I went to Google and did a simple search on "finger infections." Within twenty seconds, I knew I had a paronychia. I went to Google images to compare my own ailing finger to dozens of other sick fingers. In an instant, scores of infected digits stood in rank and file across my monitor, one of them in the process of a good lancing. After my eighth and ninth opinions from various Internet physicians, I decided I needed to see a living, breathing doctor to confirm the Internet's diagnosis.
The doctor said "paronychia" as though it was the first time I had ever heard it. I unintentionally acted unimpressed, and the doctor proceeded to give me a rundown of the etymology of the word "paronychia." Being a word guy, I was impressed. Neither of us was there to talk about words. The doc was there to lance, and though I did not know it yet, I was there to be lanced. The doctor described the procedure, and openly admitted that it would be unpleasant. A scalpel would be inserted between my fingernail and cuticle. The cut would run between .25 and .50 inches under the skin, and the pus would flow freely. Doc left to go get his scalpel, and I honestly contemplated escape. I had a flashback of grade school conversation where various methods of torture were discussed, well away from the recess lady's ears. As I recall it, bamboo shoots forced under one's fingernails ranked right up there with the mutilation of one's privates. When the doc returned, I looked away and he cut. It was a matter-of-fact procedure that yielded not one drop of pus. The doctor was visibly disappointed. I asked why, and he explained that the entire lancing had been unnecessary. He wrote me a prescription for an antibiotic and we parted ways.
Ethos is one of Aristotle's artistic proofs, and can be described as source credibility. Once again, the crystal ball was of great value. In the past it has saved me money, provided me with updated news and shown me images of things my happiness would eventually require. The information (logos) has been good as well. If Google says it, it must be so. Just today, I consulted the magic ball at the recommendation of a colleague. I did a simple search on the word "failure." True or not, I am confident that the search results would not fly in China. Somebody would be getting the bamboo treatment, or perhaps what kids imagine as being slightly worse.
Google could not tell me how to spend $200 billion to rebuild a city. I checked. I suppose there are some problems too big for the crystal ball. I heard on NPR that a guy in the TV will answer the $200 billion question tonight at seven.
S
