Dear Sam, I loved your post, but don't shoot that dog. I am not aware of any previous problems with the heeler. Do they have a leash law in Salt Lake? If so jut call and complain and they will do something about it. Our neighbors were frequently called into court for Spot's escapes. He could climb over their 6 foot fence and impregnated many of the neighbor dog. There is still evidence of his genes in the neighborhood. As for your new calling you'll be able to do a great job. Some of the callings that we think we would like the least turn out to be a great experience. Heavenly Father always gives us what we need to do a good job. Unfortunately it isn't always comfortable to stretch to the occasion.

Mary Anne is still happy with her dental jobs and lucky that they are both close by. She's quite in love. I don't completely approve of him, but when did she or anyone else ever care about that?Anne is doing well at her job. It is really telemarketing. It's right up her alley. She can charm the spots off a snake.

Gerald is fading. He's been terribly confused, but still in the same place of confusion day after day. Yesterday he was completely straight. He had to sob when he thought about Wally Ord being dead. Maxine is dying also. It will only be days. Katie did I ever get you a bratzalie Iron? If not do you want one? Yes, Eddie I'm still working on yours. I Love reading the blogs from your all. Hope all is well with every one. Tell Laurel I love her. Love, Grandma

I have been too busy to blog much, or even think about things to write. Unfortunately, there is really not a whole lot of news to report. There is a relatively minor update in the saga with the heeler next door. He has come over to our place looking for trouble a total of three times. You know about the first time. The second time, I threatened to kill him. The third time (two days ago), he threatened to kill Henry. I started to research dog-killing laws, and discovered that it’s impossible to murder a dog. One message board I read said the following: “You can shoot dogs all day because they’re legally considered property… You can’t murder property.” I read a few other cases where unruly dogs were either the recipients of bullets or nasty shocks, and Utah’s dog statute gives any citizen the right to dispatch an aggressive dog.

So, I went to the gun store.
Gun store guy (Chuck): “Can I help you sir?”
Sam: “What load would you recommend for killing dogs?”
Chuck: “Has it really come to this?”
Sam: “I’m afraid so. What should I get?”
Chuck: “Well, that depends. Do you want to kill him on the first shot, or do you want to kill him with seven or eight shots?”
Sam: “Doesn’t matter. I want him dead.”
Chuck: “Well, I’d get the Glock model 22 in .40 S&W with hydroshock bullets. You’ll stop the dog in one shot (Chuck makes popping noise), and you’ll have extra rounds for the owner if he gets a little too upset, if you know what I mean.”
Sam: “Hmmm. But the dog’ll be gone, right.”
Chuck: Points finger like gun and makes popping noise again.

In all honesty, I took a few liberties with the conversation above, but it’s not all a lie. I’m going to leave it at that, and I’m not going to mention the heeler next door again. No, he’s not already dead.

On a note of eternal importance, they made me the Young Men President in our ward. This was a real shocker for everyone, especially me. I know our bishop pretty well, and I thought I had said and done enough to be considered a loose cannon. Everyone should know how much fun a loose cannon is. I made one once and nearly killed Brad Pack. We laughed for days. Anyhow, people are calling me now wondering what to do about this, and wondering if I can get the Young Men to do that, and I don’t ever have the answer. Last Sunday, I told someone to check with the Bishop, as he was the “real” president anyway. I have a lot of growing to do. Responsibility and growing are a lot alike. It’s stimulating to talk about, but it’s not that enjoyable, and it usually hurts.

Well, I’m off to scout camp tonight. Laugh it up.

S

*** This blog is dedicated to Grandma Lois ***