Thank you all so much for the birthday wishes, via my cell phone, e-mail, and of course the blog! I'd rather be home with family of course, but you all have been so thoughtful, it's warmed my heart (as if it needed warming in this Arizona heat!).

We're staying at a brand new Marriott resort here out of Scottsdale called Desert Ridge. They've tried hard to blend it with the surrounding landscape which is nice. I took a walk tonight at sunset in the botanical garden. It is filled with native desert plants and even has small speakers along the walkway with relaxing, new age music softly playing. It was peaceful. The Saguaro cactus is native to the Sonoran Desert and was featured along my walk. It's the tall cactus that sometimes has arms. 20-30 feet tall is about average for an adult. They grow about an inch a year! To me, it has a mystical, almost spiritual quality to it. Learn more at: "www.desertusa.com/july96/du_saguaro.html".

I contemplated my many blessings as I walked, you all being right at the top of my list.

I love you and miss you all. I can already taste the cheesecake.

Happy Birthday to you! Hope you are having a wonderful birthday. Make sure you get some free cake (and a song) somewhere. I'm sure ready to party-hearty tomorrow!

I hope everyone has a fantastic day. It sure is a beautiful time of year.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEETHEART!

Last night I finished "Crow Lake", by Mary Lawson. I highly recommend the book to all. A wonderful, lyrical story of tragedy and loss, and finally, self discovery. I also enjoyed how the author used nature and a sense of place to tell her story. This is Lawson's first book and it's a wonderful debut. Get it and read it. I've given my copy to your mom.

Thank you for your fasting and prayers for Laurel. She and I had a nice chat last night after everyone left and I was impressed with how much she wants to change. She needs affirmation from all of us all of the time.

So, today is the first day of June and I can hardly recall where the last month went. Ed thanks for picking up Laurel and helping with her dumb bell ideas. I need all of the support I can get. How would you like to feel lost, sad and tired? Well, I plan to change all of that today...I really need a Sunday. I love you all. me

It's good to be home. I hear from Cristie that Isaac wasn't all that ready for the shark!

Over dinner one night on my Arkansas fishing trip, one of the Merck guys from Mississippi said in response to some dumb thing my friend from Illinois did, "And to think the South lost the war!" You know, these southern boys still have a chip on their shoulders about the civil war! They honestly think the world would be a better place had the south prevailed. I've read it before, but witnessed it first hand for the first time.

Happy Birthday Melissa. Boy, are we glad Sam married you!

Ed, do you ever blog?

I make an awful confession here. I bait fished all day today. I caught over 40 trout, all on power bait and corn! It was horrible! To make matters worse, the guide made all kinds of jokes about fly fishermen all day long. Not exactly my preferred method of trout fishing. When in Rome.......

I got many silent chuckles today. According to the guides, Northern Arkansas is the "poah paht o' the state." It appears that the first thing neglected by poor folk is their teeth! Lots of gaps and weird colors in these here smiles.

I missed my family all day today. Fishing with my boys is a lot more fun than fishing with these guys....in fact, there's no comparison. I miss my sweetheart's smile and laugh. We saw some beautiful country, but it's not the mountain West. But, I took Cristie's suggestion; I got a good laugh when Fred got a speeding ticket right in front of me.

I was sorry to read about George being so alone. I'm hoping (and praying) that he finds peace and comfort from the true source of peace.

I love you all.

Time marches on but seems soooo slow for my dad. I drove out unexpected last night and Liz and I found him crying and reading "Oh My Father" from the hymn book. His second week at church last week...two in a row...I'm not sure what to make of that, but I hope he feels peace and comfort from attending. He was pleased to see us and escorted me from closet to closet urging me to collect any old clothes that belong to me. I took home a parka that he bought for mother while she visited him in Montana...he seemed pleased for me to take it. We ran out of things to talk about, he was quiet, I asked if he wanted to go for a walk but he told me he had been walking behind a lawn mower all day...too hot for him...too hot for all of us. He turned on his air conditioning for the first time yesterday. He is lonely for his heartbeat. I ache for him and feel blessed for my life of love and children. Only an orange peel in the trash; I doubt he's eating much. As Liz and I drive away, the shadows are long and he is waving on the porch walking back into a dark house.

Jerry, I miss you. I am so happy that you can be in such a beautiful part of the country doing what you know and love so well. I hope you get some good laughs from you friends. We are anxious for your return.

Laurel is off to court today. I hope the outcome is positive. My allergies are in full swing and I think the Allegra is knocking my energy down a few notches...maybe. I love you all. ccc

I'm in Northern Arkansas this evening, just below the Missouri border about to begin a two day fishing trip with some guys at work. I'm very homesick for my sweetheart tonight.

The drive up here was very interesting. As I've already written, I've never been to this part of the country before. It's pretty, rural, very green with rolling hills. It's much like the country around the Brasher lodge in Missouri, but with even more trees. We stopped at a store in one of the towns for some fishing stuff and I noticed there were no blacks in the store. Northern AR, I'm told, is almost all white folk.

I listened to talk radio as I drove, and was entertained by the host's comments about all the junk coming out of Hollywood. He said "people on the East and West coasts just think we're just 'fly over' country. They have no idea, nor do they care what we think in the heartland." Later, I heard a commercial about a "Christian HMO". Send in a monthly fee and if you get sick, payments will be sent to you in behalf of all the other Christians who send in fees. Plus you'll get cards and letters from other Christians all over the country wishing you well. Never heard of anything like that before. I was also surprised at how many Christian talk shows were on the air (along with Rush Limbaugh and Paul Harvey).

I love you all.

Greetings to all from Little Rock Arkansas. Interesting place. I had a connection through Dallas yesterday, and as we flew over neighborhoods in the suburbs, they looked much like our neighborhood in Denver; big houses, all much alike, organized tracts, everything you'd expect. As we flew over suburbs here in AR, it was a much different view. Few organized developments, and the ones that were had smaller, simpler homes. Less maincured yards. A few junked cars, deteriorating outbuildings. I had the feeling that I was descending more into the real south. The confederate flag flies in front of my hotel.

Pray for Laurel. She needs divine help if she's to succeed in pulling away from old friends where she feels accepted and finds new ones that are a better influence on her. This time she's really trying. Pray that she'll be guided and given strength. Fast Sunday is next Sunday. I suggest we all fast for her.

I love you all.

That was fun yesterday! Thanks Elizabeth for watching all of our kids. You really are a BIG help!
Hope everyone is having a fantastic day!

I loved going to the movies with you yesterday! It felt good to laugh. Our trip to Farmington was uneventful and mom's grave looked as if she had plenty of visitors. We went over to the Steed's which seemed to be a meeting place for all. It was good to touch bases and eat some of their tasty leftovers. The little girls worked out a dance on the lawn for us and it sure reminded me of the days when Katie and Alison were putting on the shows. Your little ones are growing up so fast...it is a real joy to see what wonderful parents you are. Anyway, the beat goes on. Liz, thanks for making the weekend so much fun for all of us :-)

Hello it is nice having all of the boys home! babysitting at katies house was pretty fun last night there were a lot of little kids out on that playground playing and Issac wanted to go outside and play with is new basketball hoop or how he would say it basketball "poop" but we had a nice time and thankfully Eli didnt wake up and Isaac was pretty delightful he just wanted alot of popcorn!

Dear Ones: Life here is keeping me on my toes. Laurel is off to see the Judge and I am hoping that she behaves herself while she is away from home. I'll tell you what, that girl is a lot of fun but I sure do lose a lot of sleep trying to figure out what to do next. If any of you have a good idea as to how to keep her busy 6-8 hours a day...we would love the suggestions. I am meeting her at the theatre in little while. Our pets are all healthy today and poor little Lizzie really freaked out yesterday. Once again she realizes just how much she loves her little bird.

The girls and I went out to see grandpa last night. He liked the visit and of course seems lonely. The rain-birds were soaking the lawn and the place looked lovely. As we were driving away, he was in his puffy coat ambling through the trees to turn off the water...it was dusk. The grave looks flat and it won't be long before the lawn has knit itself back together. I am so thankful that my mother is out of her misery. Never have I seen anyone suffer in such a gallant way. Many unforgetable images come to my mind of her in her hospital bed, her walking down the hospital corridors, her stopping in front of the drink machine so so thirsty, her looking out of the hospital window on those gray dreary days, her needing a blessing, quiet, a few ice chips. I still can see her wretching and feeling very helpless. Missing my mother is rescued somewhat knowing that she will never suffer like that again. For a woman that yelped and cried when she stubbed her toe...she was amazing to me.

Anyway, please pray for Laurel. She really needs all of the love and support we can send her way. My affection and respect to you all.

mellissa you sure wrote late last night and I am the only one awake at this house. Its not the same not having the boys around we dont have people to eat all of the food but it is nice not having Eddie around. Danny I cant belevie you used to play the trumpet I never knew that. I am working on being an author when I grow up I have written a couple of stories and mom and Dad think that I am a good writer and I have another goal in life too but I dont know if it will ever happen. I want to play the violin for the mormon Tabernacle choir I think thier music is lovely but the reason why I dont think that will happen is because I cant even read notes very well! I hope everyone is up for a little story because this is a freaky story. Violet almost died yesterday and this is how it happend, I was chasing her around and stuff and that big huge fan in the family room was on! and she started watching it and then she thought it was the perfect time or something so she went head first for that fan and it nocked her out and she went fludering down but of course while this was happenig I was screaming VIOLET MY BABY while I was running down the hall and then I sat down with her and might I mention Eddie was there too and so he came down stairs and said how is she and I said she doesnt look too well and then he said she looks pretty blue and then I went running up the stairs yelling MOM she looks pretty blue! and then I put her in her cage and she went to sleep and right now she is sleeping in my bed having pleasant dreams and Eddie I would like to thank you for being so concerend and I learned an importan lesson Eddie cares I love you all (even Eddie)

It seems that we have some regular bloggers in the family! I'm glad that some of you are keeping up with it, I sure have enjoyed reading your entries from time to time.

Well, most of you boys left for the Green just this morning, and I'm already lonesome for my Sammy. I hope that the fishin' is good and the days are beautiful for you! I can just see all- the sound of the rushing water, the trees, the curve of the line going back and forth in the sun. The hoots and hollers of excitement and screams of frustration.

I've noticed that some of you have been using the "F" word in your entries--(Food storage). It's a subject that I wince at because the task seems so daunting, for some reason. But I appreciate the link Danny, and I really like the idea of starting out small and working up to a full year of storage. I think that will have to be the way we do it in our family.

Jerry, I really admire your efforts to be a better missionary. I am so afraid of stepping on someone's toes or damaging relationships that I often neglect opportunities to share my testimony. But the truth is, living the gospel and trying to be like our Savior is what has brought the greatest joy in my life. To NOT share what I have learned and know (especially when prompted by the spirit) is selfish, and reveals my lack of faith in others' ability to receive a witness of gospel truths. Since General Conference and Women's Conference, I have felt that I need to make a concerted effort to listen to, and make sure my actions are worthy of, the presence of the Holy Ghost. And most importantly - to have the courage and faith to follow those spiritual promptings. I appreciate your entry, because I have wandered back into my lazy ways, and was beginning to forget those things that had impressed me most in the last month.

Enough rambling, I should go to bed. Happy Blogging!

Since listening to Elder Eyring's talk last month, I've made an effort to be a better missionary when traveling.

My natural inclination on the road is to be anonymous, fielding the irritations common to frquent travelers with mild annoyance. Lately though, I have been using the words suggested by Elder Eyring in my prayers, "How may I be of service to thee today", and I know the Lord has guided me in thought and words. I know not what might become of my efforts, but that is really not the point. The point for me is, the Lord has heard my prayers and has blessed me with opportunities. Or maybe just a greater awareness of opportunities that are already around me. I'm thrilled and honored to be an instrument in his hands, imperfect as I am.

Well, here it is already Wednesday and I still have to get to Costco. I would love to go on the site about how much food storage to have for how long...it would be a real help to me. All here is quiet for the moment and I have all of the birds fed...except those in David's room.
Liz, let's get some private lessons set up for you for the summer. I think you show real promise with the violin...especially since you have the desire to learn.
Ed, protect your assets and wear a helmet.
I plan to go to Farmington sometime tomorrow and look in on my dad. He makes a trip out to the cemetary each day and I can hardly imagine how lonely is life must be.
My love to you all.